This week has made me think about how I spend my time.
Tuesday night is 'Date Night' for me and Noah. We watched a film, which is a fairly common date night activity. That's fine - it's something we both enjoy and I think we often feel kind of tired and don't want to expend much energy. After the film I was playing around with Star Walk (the app which made me really interested in iPads in the first place) and suggested going into the back garden. But Noah had grander plans and ten minutes later we were walking over to the Wick - the local dog-walking hotspot just across the road from where we live - with an old blanket and a flask of hot chocolate. It was absolutely lovely (if very cold and muddy!) looking up at the stars, remembering all the constellations my dad taught me to recognise - and remembering also how it used to be when Noah and I were first getting to know each other. We used to go out for night (and sometimes daytime) walks, looking at the stars, climbing trees, talking and talking. Noah lived in a house with a proper fireplace and we'd spend ages lying and staring into the flames.
I felt as though, recently, I'd become too embroiled in agonising over the details of a busy life. But more than that - as though having this teaching job is a bit of an excuse to not do anything deep or complex or interesting, because I'm always too tired. We have takeaways, watch TV, go out to the pub - all very pleasant things to do, but you can have too much of them.
In the summer I heard a very interesting talk by John-Paul Flintoff, at Greenbelt. He was talking about making your own clothes, and one thing he said was that people often make the excuse that they don't have time to do that. That's all very well, he said, but really when people say they don't have time, it means they don't want to. I think at first I was a indignant, because there are *lots* of things I "don't have time" to do. I work full time as a primary school teacher; I have a 45-minute journey to and from work; and I spend a lot of my evenings and weekends doing youth work or other church stuff with Noah.
But. As time went by, I realised that J-P F was talking about choices. We may not have time to do everything, but we can choose how to spend the time we have - and most people have time to do *something*. I tend to find that if I don't plan an activity I can spend a lot of hours wandering aimlessly around the internet. Whilst spending some time online brings me enjoyment, useful information, laughter, ideas and fun, it's really not satisfying to look back on an evening and realise that's all you've done. So this week I've been trying to do something with those little bits of time I have. On Thursday Noah and I played Scrabble before he went out to his PCC meeting. On Saturday my parents came to visit; we went to a new cafe (discovered, yes, with the help of Google!). This evening I've been baking bread and finally reorganising the kitchen cupboard.
I feel much more satisfied and also calmer after spending my time in a more useful, reflective, tranquil or interesting way. Because I seem to tend towards being rather lazy it does take some mental effort to choose an activity that demands a bit more exertion, whether mental or physical. But the benefit is definitely great. I hope I can get into the habit of spending my time wisely. I don't mean that I mustn't watch TV or follow link-trails around the internet - I just want to make sure that I choose an activity worthy of the amount of time I spend on it.
