Pilgrimage

I'm thinking about my friends over at Northern Cross today. It's a few years since I've done it now, but at Easter I always remember the four times I've walked for a week with a group of fellow pilgrims, carrying a large wooden cross up hills, across bogs, along beaches and through woods. Good Friday, although sombre, is also a day of celebration as the different groups meet at Beal Sands and take the traditional pilgrims' route through what was the sea a few hours ago to the Holy Island of Lindisfarne.

My pilgrimage this year has been somewhat different! I've barely noticed Lent, caught up as I am in the beautiful and wonderful and demanding new life that has miraculously been entrusted to me and Noah to love and nourish and nurture. I have done some excellent and some terrible mothering. I have played, smiled and sung songs... and I have despaired, complained and shouted. I have tried to pray and often failed; I have on occasion read the Bible. There has been a lot of good and a lot of bad. The times I remember to rely on God rather than trying to do everything for myself are better!

But today is a day to remember Jesus. To remember his all-forgiving love. To remember how he took on our sins and died for us, so that we could be free. To ask forgiveness for our sins, and be made new and clean in him.

Space blanket

Asher was getting a bit grumpy, so I gave him his new toy... He's been enjoying it for 15 minutes! Great idea Sarah.

Why chewing is not always effective

This is how today looked:

Asher chews clothes > Clothes fail to yield milk > Asher cries

Kate feeds Asher [effective for 30 minutes]

Asher chews clothes > Clothes fail to yield milk > Asher cries

Kate distracts Asher by changing nappy [effective for 8 minutes]

Asher chews clothes > Clothes fail to yield milk > Asher cries

Kate distracts Asher by singing songs [effective for 6 minutes]

Asher chews clothes > Clothes fail to yield milk > Asher cries

Kate distracts Asher by zooming him around the house like an aeroplane [effective for 3 minutes]

Asher chews clothes > Clothes fail to yield milk > Asher cries

Kate distracts Asher by putting him on playmat [effective for 1 minute]

Asher chews clothes > Clothes fail to yield milk > Asher cries

Kate puts Asher in pram > Asher cries

Kate pushes pram to shops > Asher falls asleep

Kate and Asher return to house > Asher wakes up

Asher chews clothes > Clothes fail to yield milk > Asher cries

Kate chews clothes...

Foiled!

First of all... I love this photo! (Even though it's not really in focus):

OK, right. Let's talk about Asher's favourite toys. As you know, he's into things that dangle at the moment. He likes his play arch and the dangly toys on his bouncy chair. But it's also fun to show him different materials and see what he makes of them.

He enjoyed this piece of foil, enticed by the changing reflections and the crisp tinkly rustling noise it made as I waved it. He soon discovered that he could replicate both effects by hitting the foil and played for a good few minutes.

After a few play times, though, the foil got boring. "Come on Mum! I know all about foil now! Show me something new already!"

So we progressed to  strip of red paper.

The biggest excitement here was that, when I put the paper in his hand, Ash actually held onto it,  staring at it intently and moving it around. Of course he tried to put it in his mouth...

"Yum! Paper!"

But succeeded only in poking his own face with it...

Fail.

And dropped the paper, ready for a new game.

"What shall we do now, Mum?"

Doesn't he look grown up in that last photo?

What else should I give him to play with?

Super Baby!

This is Asher's favourite pose at the moment. Whenever we lie him on his back he sticks his left arm out straight - often straight up in the air - and stares at his fist. He swipes at objects with it, and sometimes accidentally grabs hold of them.

"What IS this thing?!"

Not so the right hand, however. Asher has always had a preference for staring to his left, such that he is rarely aware of anything happening on his right. (Unless it's milk). I think he is still blissfully unaware of his right hand's existence... imagine his surprise when he finds out he's got one on both sides!

Smiling for Daddy

The health visitor said it was nothing to worry about, so I'm not worrying. Just making sure I present interesting toys and activities from Ash's right side. So far he hasn't spotted any of them. I bet he's wondering what happened to his dangly elephant!

Oh, and for the record... he now weighs 12lb 14 and is wearing 3-6 month clothes. I put a load of his things in the wash and by the time they were clean they didn't fit him any more!

Sleepy time?

Asher is enjoying his weekend away. Today he's been back to taking 2-3 hours between feeds (rather than wanting to eat every hour as has been the case for a couple of weeks). I wonder if it's partly because he's been almost permanently attached to me in the sling as I move from place to place, giving advice on how to fit massive quantities of pasta bake and garlic bread in the oven or scoring for the not-in-a-pub quiz or undertaking any of the other youth leaderly activities that might be required of me.

But last night was the most exciting part (for Mummy and Daddy anyway): Asher went to bed around midnight and didn't wake up until 6:30 this morning! That's six and a half hours' sleep! I was admittedly awake to hear him stir at 2 and 3 and 5:30 (some of his common wakey times) but he sighed and grunted and stayed asleep. Good times!

So... How about we try that again tonight, hey, Asher? Sound like fun to me!

Baby Talk

As something of a linguist, I'm keen to record Asher's vocal communication at different stages. I'm a bit behind - I know there was a time when he didn't make any vocal sounds apart from crying (and the astonishingly loud sleep grunting that kept me awake even during his few hours of slumber in the early days!), but now Ash creates lots of different noises:

- Crying comes in three categories: normal (indicates physical need), frantic (intensified physical need) and shouting (I have no idea why he's crying and, I suspect, neither does he). Some parents can distinguish different cries for tired, scared, hungry, etc. but I haven't been very successful with that yet!

- A high pitched "oooh!" was the first non-crying sound we heard - the classic baby coo, I suppose - the sound swoops up in the middle. It's the audio equivalent of a smile, and Ash makes it a lot.

- A cute little "Mmm" or "hmmm" or "ng" which he makes when he is feeding contentedly. Like a happy sigh. He sometimes does this rhythmically as he sleeps, like a less annoying version of snoring.

- A sort of disgruntled grunt (if such a thing can exist). Might occur when his brain thinks he's still hungry but his stomach disagrees.

- Quick breathing to indicate excitement, for example when he knows he's about to have a bath. Or milk. This is usually what I hear when he wakes up in the night. Sometimes I manage to hook him up to the milk supply before he cries, but not always.

- A short "uh" which I think he makes when he can't decide whether to be happy or sad.

- A longer "aah", which he makes more and more often these days - this is like his normal conversation voice. He seems to be expanding to include a wider range of vowel sounds. He can chat like this for quite a while, with or without the involvement of another party!

I do try to take turns with him in conversation. But Ash hasn't quite worked this out: sometimes when I speak to him he doesn't respond; other times he interrupts when I'm talking. I guess he'll grow out of that habit eventually - maybe by the time he's in his twenties?

Working Out

Asher has started to really notice when we dangle objects in front of him. He concentrates so hard, watching for the slightest movement, and waving his arms about excitedly.

Sometimes he makes contact with whatever the dangling object is - in this case a set of plastic chain links, which prompted me to make my first ever American Football joke as I encouraged Ash to "move those chains!"

(Sorry...)

He usually uses his left hand, so I'm wondering if we have another left-hander in the family. I know it's a bit early to say! Anyway, after several hours of holding up chains and teddies to dangle in front of Ash's face my arms were getting a bit sore. So I was delighted to discover this on our trip out to the local charity shop:

A dangling lion! And a shaky thing! And even a little bell that rings when you hit it! Yes, it's a baby gym! Asher hasn't quite worked out how to deliberately go for one of the objects, but I think he does realise that waving his arms about will make stuff move. This kept him occupied for at least ten minutes - very impressive stuff. Is it fun? Definitely. How do I know? Well...

...Noah had me try it out.

Baby Jeans

I've finally accomplished one of the activities on my list! Funny how having a baby to sew for suddenly means you don't have time for any sewing... But, at last, here's Asher in his home made jeans:

I don't think he's feeling very well today so I didn't spend a lot of time trying to get photos. I keep admiring them when I look at him though!

I probably spent about three hours in total on these. But I've been working on them since the end of February... I guess three hours is about how much spare time I get in two weeks!

I started by making a pattern, using the classic trace-an-existing-pair method. I made a back and a front pattern piece so that I could make the back waistband higher than the front, and so that I could try out a flat-fronted design. Neither of which are really necessary for baby trousers, but I wanted to give it a go, and I think they look nice like that.

I got some ideas/inspiration from this series of tutorials on making children's trousers at MADE.

Seam allowance added with the help of a quilting ruler... Time to start cutting! I made a trial pair first out of an old t-shirt; they fitted Ash fine, so I was ready for the real thing.

One of the things I find most difficult about making clothes is sourcing appropriate fabrics. There's the wonderful Fashion and Fabrics in St Albans, which stocks a huge selection of quilting cottons at the back. The front of the shop holds basic cotton fabrics for dressmaking, and assorted haberdashery. In the middle there is a huge floor-to-ceiling stack of Other Fabrics. But I feel a bit of an impostor whenever I go in - I don't really have a clue about textiles - and I never feel sufficiently knowledgable (read: brave) to pull anything out of the stack.

Fortunately, baby clothes are so tiny that my discarded garments provide plenty of fabric! Rooting around in the bottom of the wardrobe, I found my old favourite jeans: comfy, warm, bright green pocket linings... and now too big (not to mention hard-worn and badly mended). Perfect! As I was cutting them up I decided that I liked the look of the denim on the inside, so I chose to use that as the right side for Ash's jeans. I also decided to make external pockets from the beloved pocket lining (far too green to waste!)

I constructed the trousers by sewing the side seams first (not without adding two rows of lime green topstitching!) then the crotch seam. My favourite way to sew the latter is by turning one leg inside out then putting the right-way-out leg inside the inside out leg, so that the right sides are together inside the trousers. Then sew along the crotch seam. (Don't do what I did the first time I tried this, making my pyjamas: I accidentally sewed the front waistband to the back waistband, with very odd-looking results. Wish I'd taken a photo...)



I should then have sewn the back waistband and inserted the elastic before sewing the front shut too. Instead I sewed all the way around, then realised I would need a gap at both sides (because I only wanted to elasticate the back). So I had to unpick. In the end it was quite handy that I had elastic access points because the jeans turned out far too baggy for Ash and I had to adjust. Two teeny-tiny leg hems later, the jeans were complete. Yay!

The finished product

Accidentally inaccessible pockets

Oh, I made another silly mistake... when I cut the pocket openings I totally forgot that I was planning for the pockets to extend up to the top of the waistband. So... I stitched right through them! There's no chance that even the tiniest of baby hands could access these pockets. I'm glad I made this mistake on a set of pockets the owner is incapable of using (Ash is still sitting on the fence with regard to the motion "I have hands") but I find it amusing that I accidentally made fake pockets, one of my all-time favourite clothing moans. If fake pockets had a Like button, I would not Like them.

As I mentioned, poor Asher has not been a cheerful chappie today. He is grumpy, hungry, tired (but not sleeping much) and generally quite resembling his mum on a bad day :) - so for a final photo all I have to offer is this one, snapped during one of today's almost hourly feeds:

Mum's-eye view (I have seen a lot of this today!)

Two Months

Here is Asher with two of his favourite things. There's my home made baby book, which he still loves to stare at; and the hungry caterpillar rattle which we play with when he has his nappy changed. He turns to look at the rattle when I shake it, and often watches it move from side to side. His latest trick is to knock it over, if I prop it up beside his changing mat; I'm almost sure he does this on purpose!

At two months Asher has become quite chatty. He makes delightful cooing noises when he is happy, but is also trying out aaa-type sounds at a more normal talking pitch. I chat to him most of the time when he's awake.

Chatting

I wouldn't have said Asher looks loads bigger than he did four weeks ago, but the other day he was wearing the same dungarees as in his One Month photos and they no longer need turning up. He's really filling the 0-3 month sizes. And his hair is now growing back, after mostly falling out, so his head is fuzzy and soft again.

Asher is a strong baby. The doctor mentioned it at his six week check, when she was trying to move his legs to make sure his hips were ok and he was pushing against her with all his might. Sometimes he kicks me in the tummy and it kind of hurts... He can take his weight on his legs when he wants to (obviously with us holding him up!) and his head control is fairly good now - we no longer need to constantly support his neck. Getting him dressed can be a challenge!

Smiling at... we'd like to know what!

One of the most exciting developments is that Asher has started to smile. He seems to do it fairly randomly, rather than in response to us - the other day he spent nearly ten minutes smiling at the towel rail whilst I had a shower - but it's the most adorable thing ever. I'm keen for Asher to start reaching out for things but I don't think he's quite ready yet - though he has discovered he can suck his own fist, and has about a 70% success rate in getting it to his mouth.

Fist-sucking success!

Our baby now sleeps for a few hours most nights. He tends to fall asleep around 11pm and will wake again any time from 12:30 (bad night) to 4:30 (good night) and, on one occasion, 5:30 (extremely good night). What I'm working on (read: hoping for) next is that after I feed him he'll be able to go back into another long sleep. It hasn't happened yet, but I have got an additional hour's slumber on a couple of recent mornings.

Asher is generally very happy, although he does sometimes cry and I cannot work out why. Feeding him usually helps! He still often wants feeding at hourly intervals, especially first thing in the morning and in the evenings, but can go up to four hours in the afternoon if he's asleep. He doesn't nap naturally but if he's being rocked or held Asher will often sleep for an hour or two in the day, sometimes longer. The pram is a favourite location for sleep, but he almost always wakes up as soon as we get back home. Cluster feeding no longer happens every evening, but he's growing so quickly that he keeps needing to prompt more milk so hourly feeding is still pretty frequent.

Ash's favourite sleeping arrangement

Already our little boy seems to want to be independent. He isn't snuggly, but  pushes away from my chest unless he's very sleepy. Ash likes to look out at the world and enjoys sitting in his bouncy chair or lying on a blanket, wriggling like crazy and Looking at Stuff (still his favourite game). On his tummy Asher pushes up with both arms, lifting his head. He also pushes with one fist whilst curling his legs backwards; it really looks like he's trying to roll over and I think he does get frustrated that he can't move by himself. All in good time, Asher - I'm sure it won't be long!

Tuesdays

We like Tuesdays.

Tuesday is Daddy's Day Off, which means we get to go out and about as a little family. Fun!

Yesterday we had lunch at JK's, a sandwich shop in St Albans. The food is quite nice but it wasn't a very baby-friendly place, so I probably won't go back with Asher. There's no changing unit - I had to change him on the floor - and there wasn't really space for the pram. The waitress was very helpful in moving it out of the way for us, but I prefer to keep it by the table in case I want to put Ash back in.

Afterwards I had an ice cream from Dolce Italia at the other end of town. We just sat outside (relishing the fact that it was actually warm enough to do so!) so I can't comment on baby-friendliness, but my hazelnut ice cream was certainly delicious :)

Who's that earning man-points from passing mums by sitting outside a cafe with his baby?

Don't you love how Noah picked his shirt to match Asher's eyes?

Brave Baby

Asher had his immunisations today. He was very brave - he didn't even cry at the first one. Noah was very impressed at how tough our little lad is, and promised him a beer and a curry... when he's 18. If the same applies for every injection he'll be owed a lot of beers and curries in 2021!

For today milk was enough.

Meanwhile, I've been butchering my old favourite jeans to make a tiny pair for Asher. If I'd kept them really simple they might be finished by now, but really, why keep them simple when I could add pockets? With topstitching? So they remain on this week's list of things to do.

The nurse giving Asher his injections today commented at least five times that he was "so cute". And I'm inclined to agree! Today some pictures of me and Ash together - there aren't actually many of those.

Minnie Mouse ears...?

He's finally asleep!

Awwww

In the bag

A quick update as I feed Asher to sleep (I hope!) in a strange place for the first time. We're staying in a log-cabin-style pack holiday centre at a scout park. Noah and I have a small room with bunk beds and space for the pram at the foot of the bed. There's even a chest of drawers which we've commandeered as a changing table. And no, we didn't forget to bring Asher...